


It's curtains for you, Curtains

by twinsarein



Category: Smallville
Genre: All Dialogue, Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-08
Updated: 2008-10-08
Packaged: 2017-10-10 02:07:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/94025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinsarein/pseuds/twinsarein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark can't keep his heat vision under control, and he's suspicious that Lex likes it that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's curtains for you, Curtains

"Why do we have to do this, Lex? You have servants that do these things for you."

"I'm surprised at you, Clark! Wanting someone else to do things for you doesn't seem very Kentish."

"Yeah…but, Lex…curtains? Why do we have to shop for curtains?"

"Because a certain someone keeps burning ours off their rods, that's why. I've had to disable the smoke detector in our bedroom."

"Well, if you didn't do that thing with your tongue…"

"That's beside the point."

"What is the point then?"

"You need to learn to control your heat vision under all conditions."

"I think you like making me lose control…"

"Oh, look, Clark. An old woman needs help crossing the street."

"That was fast."

"She didn't need help.

"Oh?"

"She hit me over the head with her purse, Lex."

*snicker* "I know. I saw."

"Are you laughing at me?"

"Of course not. Look, we're here."

"Oh, God. I still can't believe we're doing this. Who buys curtains anymore? Don't they just come with the house and you leave them there when you move for the next people?"

"Apparently not. Stop whining about this. We're doing it. Maybe if you have to spend some time searching for the things, you'll stop burning them up."

"I get why I'm here, I guess. Why are you doing this?"

"I have to live with your choice. I'll be damned if I'm going to let you come home with a set of plaid curtains or something that clashes with the color of the walls."

"Man, how gay are you?"

…

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry. Stop looking at me like that."

+++++

"Jeez, Lex, I can't believe it took us three hours and five stores to find some curtains we both like. Why didn't we buy all they had so we don't have to go shopping like this again?"

"Incentive. If we don't have spares, maybe that'll help you control yourself."

"I still say you like it when…"

"Is that another paparazzi?"

"What? Where? Good grief, they're coming out of the woodwork today. Literally. There."

"What did you do, Clark?"

"I gave him a hotfoot and ruined his film. I can't believe the nerve of these guys. Such as that woman inside this last place, for example. Why would we be looking for new and creative places to have sex in a curtain store?!"

"Well…there was that time in the Lawn and Garden section of the store in Granville."

"God, yes! The things we could do on a riding lawn mower…but, no one knew about that. The place was deserted. I checked."

…

"Lex?"

"Clark, look over there! There's a…"

"Lex! That isn't going to work again. Tell me."

*sigh* "I never told you about the clip on YouTube, did I?"

…

"Clark? Clark, you need to start walking again. With your hands on your hips like that you're going to give your secret identity away."

"How…why…I can't believe…aargh! What the hell, Lex? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Let me think. It might have been to try and prevent the brain aneurism you're about to have."

"You still should have told me. I'm never going to be able to look at my mother without blushing again!"

"Oh please, Clark. Stop being so melodramatic, for god's sake. It was YouTube, the site of lousy resolution. Remember? No one could tell it was us. It wasn't even as if your face was visible during most of it, given what you were doing with your mouth that day."

"Yeah…. That was a good day."

"Wipe that ridiculous smile off your face, Clark. You're scaring the kids we're passing."

"Fine, but you're going to make it up to me after we get home and hang the curtains."

"You can be such a baby."

"You withheld information I should've had, Lex. We agreed not to do that anymore. So, you owe me."

"Fine."

+++++

"Damn it, Clark! Not again!"

…

"What? Why are you smirking at me, Clark?"

"You're smiling."

"Am not."

"Are, too."

"D2."

"Geek."

"Alien."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you, too."

"You realize that we'll be shopping for curtains again tomorrow, right?"

"Yes, damn it. This time, though, we're buying a truckload of the things."

"Deal."

"You're smiling again. You do like making me burn up the curtains. Admit it."

"I'll never admit to having such a crass desire."

"What if I make it interesting?"

"How?"

"If you can't make me burn up sixteen sets of curtains in the next two weeks, I'll stop trying to make you admit you secretly like being able to make me lose control."

"Sixteen?"

"Once a day and twice on Sundays."

"It doesn't sound like there's any benefit to me winning this bet, only losing."

"Mmmhmm, but if you win…"

"Yes?"

"You know that thing I do with my fingers?"

"Yes, but you do that anyway, so I still don't see the benefits."

"Mmmm, but if you win, next time I'll do it with my tongue."

…

"Lex, what are you doing down there?"

"Practicing for when we have curtains again."

"Pract…Oh, God!"

"Hmm, you've never melted anything before."


End file.
